


Because She Remembered

by skyewardsstan_fics (nathyfaith)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1469464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathyfaith/pseuds/skyewardsstan_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Turn, Turn, Turn - Where Ward is taken into custody after SHIELD found out he was with Hydra. Skye visits him despite telling Coulson she wouldn't. Sequel to "Maybe".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because She Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> Another fanfic by justdrabbles, I hope you enjoy the ride.  
> This one goes right in the feels.

They’ve been in the same room for half an hour, and not a word was spoken. Neither from him, or from her. There was no talking, no moving, no noise and definitely no looking at each other.

"Skye," he finally said as he looked up at her, and quickly wished he hadn’t. She had her hair covering her face, but he could see tears streaming down her face.

"Shut up," she whispered, shaking his head. "Please, shut up. I’m only here because I wanted to see you one last time."

And so he did. Another couple of minutes passed before he heard a small whimper, “Why?”

"Skye.."

"Why, Ward?" she asked, biting her lips to keep it from shaking. Finally looking up at him, she pleaded, "Please. Tell me why. I want.. I want to know. Just tell me."

He shut his eyes close, and bowed down as he responded, “Please don’t cry. Skye.. Pl- please don’t cry.”

**"Tell me why!"**  she shouted as her fists landed on the table.  **"Tell me why, Ward! Tell me why!"**

"I-" he choked on his own words before swallowing the lump in his throat. "Skye, I- I-"

**"You what, Ward! Tell me! Tell me why’d you do it! Tell me why we’re here now! Tell me why!"**

"I don’t know…"

"That’s not a good enough reason, Gra- Ward.. How could you even do this? After everything we’ve been through?"

"Skye," his voice sounded like a plea. She knows it is. "Everything I did was to protect you."

"No. No, no" she shook her head at him. Gathering every fiber of anger she got, she roared,  **"You protected me to protect yourself!"**

"I wanted to leave this goddamn plane!" he snapped as this time, it’s his fists which landed on the cool steel table separating them. "I wanted to leave and get back to my Specialist job! I wanted to leave the Bus, Skye!"

"Then why didn’t you?!" she spat, but it came out as a whimper as her tears clouded her face and sobs muffled her voice.

**"Because** _**you** _ **came! Ever since you stepped foot on that plane, everything was about you!”**

"I never asked for that and you know it!"

"And you think I did?" he scoffed. "You think I wanted this to happen?"

"Well, you’re here now, aren’t you?" she scoffed back before shaking his head. Angrily wiping her tears, she glared at him, "You’re really good, you know. Have us feeling that we’re safe. Have us feeling that you were with us. Have us feeling that you got our backs always."

"I do have your backs!"

“ **Stop lying!** " She screamed as she stood up and started pacing in front of him. She continued as she talked, "Stop lying to my face, Ward. Everything you ever did was a lie.  _I am trying to protect you_. Nice words, Ward. Where’d you get that from? Your son of a bitch S.O.?”

“ **Protecting you stayed constant in my head!**  I stayed on that stupid plane for you! I took on the risky job of being your S.O. for you! I went in the compound back with Akela’s employer to keep you safe. I did that for you! I stood up to Coulson for you! I -“

**"How much more lies can you say to me, Ward!"**

“ **I’m not lying!**  God damn it! Why can’t you see that everything I did was  **for you!**  I wanted to stay in Hong Kong because Garrett told me I could! But I stayed  **for you!**  I wanted to die in that mission in South Ossetia, but I did everything to live  **for you!**  I went back to the Bus even if I had the  _chance_  to walk away! I asked Coulson to get me off the team when I touched that staff! But I stayed  **for you!**  I wanted to die when Tobias attacked me, but I fought back **for you!**  I wanted to leave the team when we were in the Academy because Quinn could just pick me up, but I said  **no!**  I still stayed with the team  **because of you!**  I wanted to stay back in the Guest House and just break into pieces with that compound, but I found my way through  **for you!**   **I killed a man for you, Skye!** ”

**"I didn’t ask you to!"** she accused as she stopped in her tracks and pointed an acussing finger towards him.

"Do you think it’s easy for me?! Do you think this is easy for me, Skye? Everything I did in the last year was **all. For. You!** ”

“ **You took everything away from me, Ward!**  When the team crossed paths with you, we all ended up dead inside!  **They’re the only family I have and it’s broken!**   _You_  broke it, Ward.”

"They’re my family, too!"

"No, they’re not," she spat as she glared at him, "You don’t do this to your family, Ward! No. We were not your family. We were simply just a group of people you were tasked to spy on and report back to the Clairvoyant so they could take us down."

“ **You**  weren’t part of the plan, Skye!”

"Then what am I, Ward?" she taunted, taking the seat in front of him again. "Tell me what I am."

"You weren’t supposed to get hurt, Skye," he answered as he settled back on his chair while looking down at his cuffed hands. "You.. You weren’t supposed to be here, Skye."

"I guess you shouldn’t have kidnapped me then."

"Kidnapping you was the best thing I ever did."

**"So you could experiment on me because I’m a goddamn 0-8-4?!"**

"Kidnapping you was the best thing I did, because when I did, I became human.”

"Stop lying."

"Kidnapping you was the best thing I did, because I got to meet  _you_.”

"Stop it."

"Kidnapping you was the best thing I did, because I got to spend time with you. I got to train you. I got to have someone by my side at all times. I got to have someone having my back."

"Ward, stop it."

"Kidnapping you was the best thing I did, because  _I got_   _you_. For the first time in my life, I finally got someone to fight for.”

**"Stop it!"**

**"I won’t stop until you believe me that _you_  were the only thing I was sure about when everything in my head was a blur!”**

**“Don’t pull that out, Ward! I believed in you! I believed in everything you did! I believed you were a hero! I believed you really trying to protect me! I believed you really cared about the team! I believed in us, Ward!”** Fat tears started to cascade down her face, and he started weeping with her. “I believed in us, Ward,” she repeated through a whisper as she calmed down and closed her eyes. She didn’t bother wiping her tears before she spoke again, “I believed in you, Grant. I believed in us.”

“Skye,” he gasped as he tried to keep his tears at bay, but seeing the love of his life so broken in front of him made it so hard. “Skye, baby, we can still do that. We can still be us. We- ”

“No, Grant,” she hiccupped, shaking her head at him. “We can’t.”

“Skye, we can,” he persisted, reaching out across the table to hold her hands. “We can runaway together, Skye. Just you and me. Please.”

“Grant..”

He gave her hands a squeeze while he continued pleading, “Please, Skye. Come with me.”

“I can’t leave them.”

“Please don’t leave me,” he begged, bringing her hands to his lips then placing them on his wet face. “Please, Skye, don’t leave. I.. I –”

Before he could continue, she already retracted her hand from his hold and went to the door.

"Skye, please," he choked on a sob. He looked up at the ceiling to contain his tears, but as he looked down, he lost it when he saw her eyes trained on him. "Believe me when I say that I love you… So much, it hurts."

"I know the feeling," she responded before twisting the knob and leaving the room, leaving him. For good.

Once outside, she sinks to the floor and brings her knees to her chest as she gently rocked herself back and forth. With tears in her eyes, she started whimpering, “Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine.” to herself.

It was better that she visited him. It was better the she saw him. That she heard him talk. That she saw him listening to her. That she saw him looking at her the way every woman wanted to be looked at by a man.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered.

She remembered when the door of her van slid open and revealed two men she didn’t know would matter so much to her. She remembered her eyes landing on him, and if he hadn’t been working for the organization she despised back them, she thought they would look cute together. She remembered her cheeks burning when he lifted the bag off of her head and smiled at her a little; it was a teasing smile, but still, a smile.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered the huge smile on her face when he agreed to having a drink with her when they were at the lounge. She remembered feeling secure in his arms when they didn’t even knew each other so well, but she still did. She remembered her breath hitching when their fingers made contact to one another when she handed him the device needed to go in that compound. She remembered her stomach flipping at seeing him smile at her and giving her compliments.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered the pain she felt at seeing him so pained when he found out she was with her lover back then. She remembered how badly she had to hold back and not cry when he declined her offer to come with her to Coulson. She remembered crying in Coulson’s office because of him. No, she wasn’t crying because she was tagged. She was crying because he trusted her, he stood up for her, and she still ran.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered how hard she had to hold back and not skip happily at hearing his voice directed towards her, asking her to stay with him. She remembered a part of her crumbling to pieces when her eyes landed on the non-existent extraction plan for their boys. She remembered her sigh of relief as she saw him standing in the cargo bay, watching over FitzSimmons. She remembered the smile she had on her face as they started to bicker like they always do.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered bumping into May the day they when got back to the Bus from the hotel in Dublin. She remembered May smiling at her, and saying that her S.O. returned her feelings. She remembered May patting her back while telling the story how he said _Skye_  in his sleep.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered the little spark of hope she felt when he defended her in front of Victoria Hand; hope which was lost because her father was kidnapped and was being tortured. She remembered how her face lit up at seeing him running towards her when they arrived in the deserted town. She remembered a giggle escaping her lips when she saw him running towards her with open arms but quickly put it down in embarrassment.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered praying his name, only his, when the darkness started taking over her as the pain in her stomach started to sting. She remembered seeing him in her dreams. She remembered hearing his voice, being her anchor to hold on and not let go.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered smiling like an idiot when he came to visit her the morning she woke up. She remembered her pieces connecting at seeing him smile at her; that special smile he wore just for her. She remembered her stomach doing flips when he sat down next to her and started telling stories about what she missed out on. She remembered her cheeks burning when he took her hand in his and stated how worried he was for her. She remembered her whole being in light when he leaned forward and kissed her temple, promising that she won’t ever hurt again.

It was better that she visited him. Because she remembered how adorable he looked when he asked her out for a drink. She remembered how difficult it was for him to ask her out. She remembered the small smile he had on his face when she agreed. She remembered her heart racing as she took hold of his arm and spun him around. She remembered electricity flowing through her veins when he met her halfway. She remembered herself melting in his arms as they kissed each other. She remembered how a single touch from him glue everything she had broken. She remembered how she planned on kissing him again and again and again in the future she planned for the both of them.

It was better than she visited him. Because she remembered how safe she felt when she was with him.

She remembered feeling home with him.

She remembered feeling cared for with him.

She remembered feeling belonged with him.

She remembered feeling loved with him.

But no matter how hard she tried, flashes of bad memories still crept up to her mind.

She remembered her heart dropping at hearing his words “I’m off the clock.”

She remembered her light flickering at hearing his words “You talk, and talk, and talk. Don’t you get tired of hearing your own voice?”

She remembered her hope dwindling at hearing his words “I’m beat.”

But nothing will ever beat how she felt at hearing two simple words, not from him, but from Coulson.

_Ward’s HYDRA._

No, nothing could ever beat the pain she felt at hearing those words. Not after he spilled his guts out to her. Not after he asked her out for a drink. Not after he admitted he didn’t wanna risk their relationship. And definitly not after he kissed her back.

Those two words kept on echoing in her head until she felt firm arms wrapping around her and she clung to them for dear life. She was rocked back and forth as her hair was brushed soothingly.

"Everything’s gonna be okay, Skye," she heard. "Everything will be okay. We’re here."

"We’re here for you, Skye," another voice said.

"We won’t leave you," another one.

"We’re a family," and another one.

"Everything will be fine, Skye," she heard Melinda’s voice as she looked up to see her cradling her against her chest, with Phil kneeling in front of her, Jemma hugging her from behind, and Leo holding her hand.

"We may be broken," Jemma started.

"But at least we’re together," Phil ended.

And that was all it took for her mind, and her body, and her heart to regenerate and completely forget the man inside the room; the man she once believed in;  the man she once saw as her hero; the man who was once her only light; the man she once loved.


End file.
